My husband I went to Mom and Daddy's to pick up some of my grandmother's (NanNan) things that have been passed down to me. If you know my mom, and have been to her home, then you know what a feat that was.
Mom has three bedrooms - all of which are designated as her closet. As my daddy would say, "Your mother has more shoes than Imelda Marcos". For all you youngens out there, that would be like saying, "Your mother has more shoes than Lindsay Lohan has community service hours".
It's really too bad she wears a size "Smurf" otherwise I would have been gladly stuffing my Durango full of kitten heels and flats (only sensible women wear sensible shoes).
Oh, but it doesn't just stop at the third bedroom. Oh, no. It flows right into the garage. She has a rolling hanger cart full of clothes and hand bags,along with boxes of shoes strewn about.
Don't feel bad for my dad, though. He has an uncanny ability to block it all out. He is perfectly content in his designated portion of the house - an 8x8 area that fits his recliner, their dog, Jack (a Chihuahua / Jack Russel mix), and the television.
Jack, by the way is a pesky little shit that likes to run. And when I say 'run' I mean, at any given opportunity he will bolt out of the door in a blur of brown and white. He takes off running full speed, down the street- and I swear he is grinning the whole way.
My dad has to get into the car and go get him. Then ( and this is where I really enjoyed the day) he puts Jack in the car and takes him for a ride! WTF??? How come he never rewarded us when we acted like little turds??
I would have liked a happy car ride if I took off running and peed in the neighbor's yard! Not to say I have or would ever... though there was that one time - but Zima was new on the market and it seemed like a good idea at the time - (Don't judge me)
We did piss our neighbors off one Summer. But that's a loooonnng story and would go under something titled, "The House Party My Sister and I Threw at Our Neighbor's House While They Were Away on Their Honeymoon - We Were Supposed to be Cat-Sitting, and Sadly Lost Their Cat". Yep, no story there. That pretty much sums it up.
So, my big, gas-guzzling-middle finger-in-the-air-to-the-EPA-SUV was parked in the driveway, with a trailer attached so my dad had to do a three point turn around - IN HIS FRONT YARD - all to take that little shit on a car ride. My mother turns to me and says, "He is really pissing me off in his Old Age".
As she is smiling and waving to him, she then says, (in her famous satirical tone) "Wait, he'll want you to see Jack driving the car" . No kidding? Really? And there it was, my dad BEAMING with pride, tooting the horn, as the little monster was propped up on the steering wheel, with that same shit-eating grin.
We headed back into the outdoor closet - er, I mean the garage - to rummage through some other things to pack into my big, gas-guzzling-middle finger-in-the-air-to-the-EPA-SUV. As my mom was reaching to grab something on a shelf, a few items fell and so did a small bit of profanity from her lips. She immediately gasped and said, "Oh, I am so sorry. Your daddy and I have been watching Jersey Shore marathons. I just can't get enough of them!" I almost peed my pants- partially out of shock, but mostly out of the humor. I can just picture it. Pillows stacked up at the foot of the bed with my mother propped up on them. My dad propped up at the head of the bed, and my mom saying, "Millie rub my feet", as Snooki is dry-humping a house plant on the television.
Mom and I grabbed a few end tables and some patio furniture as Hubby and Daddy loaded it onto the trailer.We were able to get just about everything that NanNan would want me to have, along with some other things my mom wanted to go ahead and give me, so my sis and I can go through them together, and divide them out.
I can't wait to go through all of the silver and crystal and old personal belongings of NanNan's. I hope one day, my grandchildren can come by with their big, gas-guzzling-middle finger-in-the-air-to-the-EPA-SUV to load it all back up to take to their homes - wherever that may be.
*Side note to self: the next time I'm up to visit, I'm implementing parental controls on their cable.*
